Everyone talks about how important it is to love oneself, but what does actual self-love look like? One practical, grounded application of self-love is the capacity to have healthy boundaries with oneself and to hold oneself accountable in a loving manner.
Being able to meet oneself with love even when you let yourself down is a key component of self-love. Giving yourself a pass, on the other hand, might not be the best course of action.
Instead, self-love can assist you in facing your fears, getting support for self-destructive habits, pushing yourself to take healthy risks, reaching deep inside to reveal your best self, and being honest with yourself when you make a mistake or regret a decision. All of that is included in the accountability category.
It is possible to hold oneself accountable without feeling guilty or condemned when you practice self-love. Rather, what’s important are basic awareness and a loving feeling of duty toward oneself; these guidelines should be helpful:
1. Take responsibility and control what you can.
There is a lot in life that we are powerless over. However, there are frequently a lot of aspects of your own life that you have more wholesome control over. When faced with a difficult or intimidating matter pertaining to your work, health, or living arrangements, ask yourself, “What can I control in this situation?”
Taking responsibility does not mean putting the blame for your situation on yourself; rather, it means giving yourself the tools you need to make your life even better. Take the focus off perfection or hypervigilance. Celebrate every effort to get greater control over a situation and show yourself some love for yourself. This will help you gain confidence and momentum!
2. Develop an open and compassionate relationship with yourself.
Often, it’s a moment of striking clarity that makes us realize we need to make a significant, scary change in our lives, like sobering up, divorcing, or changing the way we parent. Like discovering, to your dismay, that you’ve once again overspent on an internet shopping spree that you completely forgot about, when you check your bank balance.
This time, though, as you view the figures on the screen, you have a gut feeling that you should hold yourself responsible for changing or seeking assistance for this behavior.
You can show compassion for that self-aware epiphany by acknowledging it with pride, reading up on shopping addiction to gain a better understanding of your own conduct, or seeking support from a counselor.
We frequently refuse to be honest with ourselves about the things for which we should take responsibility because we are afraid of the severe criticism that will follow. Even when you hold yourself and others accountable, compassion truly brings out the best in you and them.
3. Establish a positive relationship with self-control.
Self-control and accountability go hand in hand. Discipline doesn’t always have to be punitive, despite what many people believe. You can think of self-discipline as the loving inner parent or helpful inner coach who imposes discipline only because they want the best for you, when you see self-discipline as an ally to achieving your objectives, bringing out your best, and taking excellent care of yourself.
Give your inner coach or inner parent a witty nickname or persona to make punishment more enjoyable. Just make sure they are considerate and understand the importance of relaxing and being indolent!
4. Always have your back, for the future.
Being there for your future self means lovingly holding your current self-accountable. Paying more on your mortgage each month today may be something your future self will thank you for in 15-20 years. for example, if you need to change careers and can pay off your debt sooner.
Instead of criticizing your present self for making poor decisions, reframe with self-love and encourage your present self to kindly care for your future self! The effects of what we do today will follow us for years to come.
5. Learn how to have loving conversations with oneself about difficult or painful topics.
Most people need to practice talking to themselves in a nice and compassionate way. It’s possible that you were raised in a society, a home, or an educational system where adults lacked the skills to lovingly hold you accountable. Rather, they communicated with you in the same judgmental and shame-filled manner that was modelled for them in their early years.
The next time you let yourself down, learn from it by practicing radical self-love and having a comforting conversation with yourself while still holding yourself accountable.
6. To show up for yourself, show up for the group.
Acts of self-love are really giving back to the community, going green to protect the environment, and lending a hand to those in need, such as refugees, who are having a hard time getting by.
Self-care is waking up the noble part of you that yearns to be responsible and a force of kindness and grace in the world. This is since all living things are interconnected, and looking after the earth helps to ensure that you can live, love, and breathe in a stable, healthy community and stable global environment every day.
Related Post: 60 Journaling Prompts for a Journey of Self-Exploration
To Wrap Things Up
Embracing self-love involves creating a positive and accountable relationship with oneself. It entails exercising control where possible, exhibiting compassion, and realizing that self-discipline is a kind of care, not punishment.
Making careful decisions today paves the way for a better tomorrow and demonstrates genuine affection for your future self. Learning to treat oneself with kindness during difficult conversations promotes growth and self-esteem. Finally, self-love not only enhances our well-being but also positively impacts the world around us.
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